Finding Passion through Networking

I first heard the concept of networking and coffee chats during my first year of university. I was terrified of falling behind compared to all my peers, so I attended as many events as possible. As an introvert, attending such events was so difficult because of all the preparation I had to do leading up to it. When I tried to understand exactly why it felt like a burden to speak to people during networking events, I realized it was because everyone was reading off a "script" to get something out of the conversation. It was rare to find conversations that were genuine and would build a lifelong friendship. The company representatives tried to be as friendly as possible to attract students to their company while the students were fighting to speak and impress those representatives to get hired.

As I was sharing networking experiences with my peers and hearing theirs, one common phrase I heard was, "I always feel like the fakest version of myself when I'm networking". It was in those conversations when I realized that the mindset had to change. Instead of a having a conversation based on a “script”, the exchange should be authentic and be out of genuine interest.

So, here's what I learned from forcing myself to attend networking events.

1. Change your mindset when walking into networking situations: Don't go into a conversation thinking, "I need to impress this person with the most intelligent words and get hired". Instead, talk to someone as if you genuinely want to know more about the person. Yes, learning about the company is crucial, but learning about the speaker is what makes the difference. By doing this, you are building a strong relationship with a potential mentor in your life. Regardless of if you get the job you're applying to at a specific company or not, having a lifelong mentor is much more valuable.

2. Importance of being an active listener: As I was speaking to people at these networking events, I wasn’t paying full attention to their words. I spent most of the conversation thinking of a question to ask next so the conversation doesn't get awkward. People often take these opportunities for granted and don’t realize how valuable one small conversation is. Part of being an active listener is asking questions with purpose. Asking questions like, “How did your passion lead you to the role you're currently in?" allowed me to learn how I can connect my passion to a career destination.

3. Have a purpose to initiating a conversation: Asking yourself the question, "Why?" when initiating a conversation or following up is important to understand the purpose of the chat. Why are you reaching out to have another conversation with this person? If you were told that you wouldn't get a job by networking and going on a coffee chat with one person, would you still do it? Probably not.

With that said, the question I've been curious about is: Why is getting a job the incentive for having the conversation? This is the mindset that needs to change. Be part of this "networking" idea because you genuinely want to learn about the person and the company. This is when people feel like the "fakest version of themselves"- because the incentive to their actions is unrealistic. If this mindset doesn't change, being faced with rejection from a role you applied to will be harder to cope with and destroy your personal growth.