The Importance of Mastering Your Mindset

About a month back, I had the privilege of attending the annual CAN-CWIC (Canadian Women in Computing) conference in Mississauga. Although I am pursuing a degree in Commerce, I decided to attend the conference and be exposed to a new industry. My goal for attending the conference was to learn more about the opportunities in the computing field and acquire any skills that would help me in my career. However, as the days were approaching the conference, I was very anxious about participating in a conference that I had very minimal knowledge in.

During the conference, I was exposed to hearing from many talented women in the tech industry and was able to participate in educational workshops. Although I learned a lot, I constantly kept thinking that I wasn't "good enough" for being there because my knowledge in computing wasn't enough. It was a feeling I couldn't let go of no matter how many times I told myself that it was okay to not know everything. This feeling carried onto my academics at school and in other parts of my life. The conference allowed me to finally understand why I was feeling a lack of motivation at school and kept saying that I was "burnt out". It wasn't because I had no motivation in my courses or I was overwhelmed and exhausted. I absolutely loved the courses I was taking and knew I would enjoy them from the beginning of the year. What held me back was my lack of confidence and my negative mindset.

This semester, I was taking six courses which required a lot of work, time and practice. Among the six courses were four quantitative courses. Although I really enjoyed quantitative courses and understood concepts quickly, I always doubted my skills. For a couple of years now, I would notice that my peers would get higher grades than me in such courses even though I worked twice as hard. Many times, I sacrificed my social and personal life to dedicate to my academics and did not balance my priorities well. This semester, the combination of my peers getting higher marks and my grades significantly dropping led to one conclusion: I knew I wasn’t capable of quantitative courses, I wasn't smart enough and didn’t have the knowledge to get better marks.

As I was complaining to a friend about how stressed, burnt out and unmotivated I felt about this semester, she asked me, "What do you think was so much harder from this year vs last year? We had 6 courses last year too". Initially, I was expecting my friend to agree with my complaints and continue ranting about how "burnt out" we were. However, after she challenged me to think about what was actually the root cause of my problem, I realized that the problem was not the number of courses I was taking or the workload, it was my mindset. It was my brain telling me that I wasn't capable of learning these courses and succeeding in them. I knew this because if I had a genuine interest in these courses at the beginning of the year, why am I giving up all of a sudden? I realized two things from here- If I perform poorly on an assessment and get low grades, my motivation significantly decreases. And when this happens, my mindset shifts to "burnout" mode. Or if I walk into the course thinking "I'm not good at qualitative courses, this is not going to be a good course" when it comes to studying or completing assignments for the course, I know all I will be doing is complaining about the task. Sometimes, burnout is completely real. You work so hard and you need a break. I completely understand that- but where the problem lies is if you let "burnout" and "stress" be an excuse for you to not keep pushing forward.

From this point on, I realized that it was all mindset, all attitude. After I understood that I was putting myself down and doubting my abilities in courses, I knew that this would impact many areas in my life. Going back to the conference I attended in November, I realized that I may not have the same skills as others, but that doesn't mean I won't have the exact skills a couple of months away from now. I realized that if you're interested in pursuing something, you have to understand that you have to START somewhere. Don't expect to be at the finish line and see results without starting from the basics. It doesn't matter if other people are far ahead of you. What matters is where YOU are at how you can improve from there. This not only applies to academics/ career but health, relationships: family, friends, personal wellbeing, etc. If you wished you worked out and had a healthier diet every day, don't let the external noise hold you back from what's actually going on in your head. Your mindset has to be strong enough to not let any external factors change it- this means getting a bad mark, a hate comment from someone, or people judging you for what you do

I learned that sometimes the more I think, the more I'm wasting my time. Don’t think, just do! There is so much abundance, success and happiness available to you. Work for what you want, crave it. Consume it without overthinking about how good or bad you are. Do what it takes to create what you want. On the journey, you will lose, you will be told no, but that doesn't mean you are not worthy. Success is a choice, so choose it.