Your Story is Worth Sharing

I recently watched Michelle Obama's documentary on Netflix, "Becoming." Essentially, it's a documentary about her book tour on her story on Becoming the first black lady in the White House. As she was on tour, giving speeches to over 20,000 people, she said one compelling statement that stuck with me, "What I experience in these big arenas is the power of gathering of sharing a set of experiences." I re-winded this part of the documentary five times to think about what she meant back then during her tour, and what this means for us during the global pandemic. The more I was analyzing this phrase and applying it to our current situation; it felt as though I had a mini epiphany- human interaction is more than just people physically sitting in a room together. It's about the stories and experiences we all have that are meant to be shared. This might sound like a cliché saying, but hear me out on this one. I realized that every interaction we have with someone is a brand new paragraph in your book of life from the moment you say hello to the moment you dismiss them with a goodbye. But for some of us, those connections and interactions, we have feel like a burden.

I'm thinking back to a time when I was at school and dreaded attending a lecture that didn't interest me as much. When I attended that class, I was in that "I don't want to be here," "I want to get out of this class ASAP" mindset. During several lectures, the professor would ask the class to share about our experiences regarding a specific topic. I automatically chose not to raise my hand even though I had a story to share. Why? Firstly, because, as mentioned earlier, I had a bad attitude toward the class and didn't bother to participate. And secondly, because I was nervous about what other people would think about my story and answer in general. Now looking back, I'm asking myself, why was I so ashamed of my story? Why did I not cherish the moments where I had the chance to be together in a room full of people and hear from my peers? Just because I didn't like that class, I felt as though it was a burden for me to answer my professor's question and listen to the experiences my peers were sharing.

Moreover, when I walked out of that classroom and had to work on a group project, my mindset shifts to the mode where I only think about how I am going to get the best mark. It was all about "what is it going to take for me to get an A+"? For most of the teams I've worked on, we always had a divide and conquer approach, even though the professor would emphasize ensuring the groups worked on the project together. Sure, maybe a divide and conquer strategy might work for some projects. Why is it that 90% of the projects I worked on when the professor explicitly says we work on the project together don't? Well, let me do a little analysis here: doing the project together requires more time as a team. It requires that 4-5 people who don't know each other are all placed in one room and are forced to work together, which is probably out of everyone's comfort zones. No one is willing to get to know one another and cultivate new relationships. So, it all comes down to the fact that the project can be completed in a more relaxed manner if we do it individually, so why bother to waste time doing it together? (even though the professor says to work on it together!!! ) Every time I worked on a group project like this, I would talk to my team until we hit the submit button. Then, we become strangers until the next time we are forced to work together. Why are such interactions so transactional to the point where people don't bother to make an effort to build a proper relationship with one another? Is it that hard to ask someone about their life? Does it take that much energy to start a conversation and learn about other people? Is scrolling through your Instagram feed so much more valuable than a potential life-changing relationship you could have with another human?

We are all focused on our GPAs and the mark we would get on the project that our relationships and experiences with each other seem useless. I learned through this that your "statistics" are not as vital as your story. It doesn't matter what your GPA is; it doesn't matter if you're in the world's best program or have a job that pays you a million dollars per year. The real question is, what's your story, and how will you empower your community?

Now I must apply what I learned from these two experiences at school to my daily life during the pandemic. Obviously, I spend so much time with my family. Currently, I'm evaluating how much time I'm taking out of my day to be present with my family and hearing the stories they have to share about their day. It doesn't matter that I see my family every day and that we all live in the same house- we are human. We go through a series of emotions and feelings; it's important to share, communicate, and support one another. There's no excuse not to ask about someone's life because you live with them or because you just called them the other day.

I'm realizing now that each one of us has a story to share and a voice that needs to be heard. I like to think of all of us as pieces of one pie- if we're hiding, not showing up confident, not being curious about the people around us, and voicing our stories, the pie is not complete. Even if you're forced to sit in a class or forced work on a project with a group of strangers, shouldn't you be grateful that you have the opportunity to learn from people? And get to hear the stories of 4 or 5 more people in your life? The problem is we are not vulnerable. We are afraid that sharing our weaknesses and struggles will give us a bad reputation. We care so much about what other people think that we hide our lives and don't embrace our gift of sharing. You have to go out of your comfort zone and prove to everyone what you're capable of. When the pandemic settles, and you get a chance to attend a conference, go back to your offices/ schools, or eventually get the opportunity to sit on an airplane, don't be afraid to start up a conversation. If the person does seem engaged, that goes to show that your story and your experiences are valuable. You never know where one small talk can take you and potentially how big of an impact it can have on your life. So don't take these opportunities for granted.

If there is one thing I would like you to take away from this article, it's this: remember that all of our stories have value- so dare to be vulnerable, because that's how we will all unite as one. So let me ask you, what's your story?